As if struck by lightning, I wake up in the middle of the night and a voice speaks: "You have to do something new, something completely new." - "Hello, what is it? Finally combining hobby and job!" Hmm, windsurfing as a hobby. Profession? Sure, surf school with hire! Not so daft. Sitting cool on the beach during the day, sipping Spritz, organising, handing out equipment and counting the money in the evening. Yes, absolute relaxation, easy living! Lucky me! I was actually able to take over a station on a southern holiday beach. My colleague had only been there for one season, so everything was fresh.
The first few days consisted of cleaning, greasing local officials, checking material, re-lubricating officials. But then things got going and the first sets were lent out. "Hello, do you have the 251 Magic Wave from BJ Austria?" "No, we only have material from Monotone. The Monotone Fast 236 is almost the same, even a bit faster." "Nah, but the BJ stops better!" "Depends on the rider." "Well, well, I'm the club champion in Ülpenich." "Well then...?!"
He came back in the late afternoon. On foot, and when I asked him where the board and rig were, he said: "Fucking sideshore wind, I drifted all the way down, the board doesn't hold. Then I went ashore and went to the hotel for dinner." "So?" "So what? Everything was gone after dinner, but you're insured, no problem. Ah, have you got the 120 hedgehog? It holds up much better."
That was an entry into the smart arse department. But then the first beginners came back. One had stepped on a sea urchin, had spikes in his foot and wanted compensation. Another couldn't understand the Bavarian surf instructor and demanded lessons in High German. Then three non-swimmers wanted to sign up for a waterstart course and one wanted his money back because he still couldn't jibe after 20 private lessons. "The mast is off!" "Really - after just ten minutes of washing in the shorebreak?" "It must have cracked already!" "And where's the fin?" "Well, that's not important any more."
After three weeks, I was at the end of my tether and was getting grumpy. "But the water's cold!" "Tomorrow we'll put in an immersion heater for you!" "What, a surfing centre without wind, where do you get that?" "Wind? You can buy it, an hour in five Beaufort is 80 euros!" "Far too much wind here!" "Let's switch off in the afternoon." "Wind from the left - no way!" "Turn round, it'll come from the right, you whistle!"
A madhouse was nothing compared to that, which is why I was looking for solutions. Then, during my midday nap, that voice called out again: "So, how's it going?" and I grumbled: "You've got me into a mess with the surf station, about combining my hobby and my job." "Surf station? I meant barbecuing, you love barbecuing sausages, barbecuing and opening a currywurst stand!"
More from Tommy Brandner:
- Under-80s or over-80s? Diets for windsurfers
- A visit to the tuning workshop for windsurfers
- Motorhome for beginners
- Attention drone!
- Through the shorebreak
- The avalanche of traffic jams is rolling again
- Happy B-Day, King!
- Used is still too expensive
- That was 2023
- To foil or not to foil
- Faster, faster, faster... or: Who is this Lüderitz anyway?
- Windy stories
- The handsome Hansi
- AI hysteria
- News from the Spocht
- Get fit without training
