"No power? Wimpy? Not in the mood for anything? Are you hanging around like a wet rag? Then get fit, get fit for the summer, it's high time!"
Filthy radio adverts from this fitness club opposite me. But he's right, I don't feel good at all. Totally limp, like I've been sucked dry. But going to the gym? Never. Brainless mountains of muscle lift weights weighing tonnes, housewives panting on the butterfly machine, dreaming of their dream boobs, and 100-year-old pensioner posers with the power of two hearts pull on ropes, get strains or viral infections. And everyone is sweating profusely, dripping like gravel lorries, and the sweat runs through the room, down the stairs onto the street, floods the whole city and ... okay, a bit of an exaggeration. No - gym is not for me. Disgusting and far too strenuous.
What does the internet have to say about fitness? Oh yeah, that's something: "Fit without training." That fits, do nothing and get fit, how does that work? Aha, but hello, they do gymnastics! Well, sitting down, but not "without". The next link: Squats while brushing your teeth, cycling to work, taking the stairs instead of the lift, consciously cleaning windows and vacuuming? Making beds as a little strength training? That's "with" effort again. The next one: "30 minutes of brisk walking burns 150 to 200 calories." Great, you can easily get that back in with a bite of kebab. What a load of rubbish. Then this one: sit on an exercise ball, stand up once an hour and get your pulse up to over 100. "Fit without training" my arse. Sounds tempting on the outside, but inside it's training again, only slimmed down or disguised as a daily routine. Fitness marketing is buttering up the last, desperate target groups. Nah, nah, not with me.
But then what? Yoga is said to make you fit and relaxed. Stand around on one leg, arms above your head and: Ommmmmmm ... that's just fine. This yoga teacher was really nice, really nice. She didn't mess around for long, she got straight into it. Roll out the mat, lie on your back, close your eyes, breathe in and out evenly and deeply, don't think about anything, relax, relax, relax ...
30 minutes later she woke me up and the course was over. I haven't felt this refreshed and fit for a long time. This is how I imagined it would be. Yoga is great, I'm sticking to it!
More from Tommy Brandner:
- Under-80s or over-80s? Diets for windsurfers
- A visit to the tuning workshop for windsurfers
- Motorhome for beginners
- Attention drone!
- Through the shorebreak
- The avalanche of traffic jams is rolling again
- Happy B-Day, King!
- Used is still too expensive
- That was 2023
- To foil or not to foil
- Faster, faster, faster... or: Who is this Lüderitz anyway?
- Windy stories
- The handsome Hansi
- AI hysteria
- News from the Spocht
